


Our NATO - Not A Terrible Outcome

by SolSermisiere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Kissing, Car Accidents, Customer Service & Tech Support, Developing Friendships, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Sex, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Laughter During Sex, M/M, Physical Disability, Sarcasm, Strangers to Lovers, Switching, because sarcasm is life, but in the past, but rather minor on the scale of things, call center, may happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 03:35:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15765783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolSermisiere/pseuds/SolSermisiere
Summary: “Welcome to Survey Corps Customer Service. My name is Levi. What can I help you with today?” a male voice announced and the second Eren’s brain processed it, all hope of being at least decently articulate went out the window.The young man prayed that the comically undignified squeak that dared to leave his throat was concealed by the even more inelegant whizz that came out when he tried to change it mid-way into something more inconspicuous. Like a cough, perhaps. He was not doing so great on his first phone-related assignment, was he?----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“E for Echo. G…” and he really tried to stop himself from spouting it. It was out of place and inappropriate, but it was out before he could bite his tongue. “For Gay,”“I wanted to suggest G for Golf, but Gay works just fine,” Levi said rather matter of factly, but Eren could bet his beloved good old Dell desktop there was a barely held back snicker right there.





	1. G stands for Golf. Does it?

**Author's Note:**

> This story has come to me after a long time of no writing will whatsoever. It resonates with me strongly, though, as I have knowledge an experience of the field it is based around, meaning Customer Service within a Call Center :D My love for Levi and Eren is still strong after all those years, so I've finally decided to write about them in a setting that I know for sure offers a lot of fun possibilities to explore that is set in our reality. 
> 
> No worries. Unlike other stories, I am very commited to it for reasons mentioned above and so have 3 initial chapters written as well as the last one. There is a solid plan this time around to make it happen and not abandon it. It is mapped out and the final goal is crystal clear.
> 
> Love you all, fellow Ereri readers and possibly writers. Hope you enjoy and share the positive love :)
> 
> P.S There will be links in a few places for those of you who like to have visual aid and see how I imagine some things more closely without having to describe it too much in detail, like clothes or buidlings. No need to click on them if it's not your thing, as it will not influence your undrestanding or flow of the story. 
> 
> Also, any similarites to existing companies, services etc. are bound to happen, as I am not able to reinvent the wheel and I do want it to be based in current times. However, I did not use any worldwide known names for the main companies in this stories or their products (they refer to SnK simply) and will obviously not share any sensitive information/data but bulit upon generally available IT knowledge and patterns.

“Welcome to Survey Corps Customer Service. My name is Levi. What can I help you with today?” a male voice announced and the second Eren’s brain processed it, all hope of being at least decently articulate went out the window.

 

He had been set up for failure and there were no warning signs whatsoever. He had fallen down the rabbit hole that presented him with a whole new world of strangely titillating befuddlement. 

 

That voice… That VOICE… Low in timbre, on the scale pleasantly somewhere between a tenor and baritone. Smooth but rich nonetheless. Clear, but not obnoxiously so, enunciation. Hinting at a calm and self-assured speaker. It was like a physical caress that made Eren shudder unconsciously, his grip on the phone tightening minutely.  

What the effing… No, no, no… This was certainly a mistake. It was understandable. It was barely ten past eight in the morning. Monday morning no less. He was not a morning kind of a guy by nature. His sleep and caffeine-deprived fingers must have slipped and dial something strange and, however unlikely it might have been, he must have reached a line that had nothing to do with customer service. At least not IT wise.

 

The guy said ‘customer service’, but that could have meant anything, right? With a voice like that on the other end of the line… Eren could only imagine what kind of ‘service’ was on offer. It just took his newbies luck to call a porn line the first time they had told him to do something other than brewing a cup of friggin’ coffee. 

 

Wait… they did not charge for that the moment you started the conversation, did they? If that went on the company’s monthly phone bill and they saw… That would be the end of Eren’s short and ‘supposed to be blissful’ IT career before it even had a chance to properly start.

 

“Hello, sir? Can you hear me?” THE voice enquired after what was likely a prolonged moment of silence on Eren’s side. 

 

The young man prayed that the comically undignified squeak that dared to leave his throat was concealed by the even more inelegant whizz that came out when he tried to change it mid-way into something more inconspicuous. Like a cough, perhaps. He was not doing so great on his first phone-related assignment, was he? 

 

“Are you okay there, sir?” he was asked and it was probably a good time to either contribute to the conversation or just hung up.

 

He was too overwhelmed for either, was what he thought, but apparently his brain had other views on that.

 

“Hot,” he blurted out and the silence on the other side was a good enough response to make him realize what an idiotic thing to say it was as a greeting. Just a not so random word. Eren being cool. No issue there…

 

“Excuse me?” the other speaker intoned in a manner that let Eren know he was very quickly starting to approach thin ice rather than solid ground of acceptable human communication.

 

“S-Sorry… It’s just hot and uhm… my throat got dry?” Eren tried lamely to save the situation with whatever excuse came to his rattled mind. 

 

He just hoped his honestly hairbrained initial response was not a default whenever somebody stumbled upon this phone operator. 

 

“...right. Well, sorry to hear that. Maybe take a sip of water and you can tell me what it is I can assist with?” was the other man’s suggestion and Eren couldn’t agree more.

 

Now that he thought about it, he was more than a little bit thirsty. More like… parched, honestly. He wasn’t going to analyze what was the actual cause of that. That would be bad for his health for sure.

 

Eren did take a violent swig of water from his bottle as per advice and so became happy with his first little achievement of the day. He did not choke on it. Little miracles…

 

“Ok. Sorry for that… Right. I called because I need help,” he announced and mentally face-palmed himself. 

 

He called the helpline to get help. No shit Sherlock. He was making such a twit of himself and he was maybe two minutes into this call. He was just praising whatever possible powers out there, or more like his sheer dumb luck, there was nobody in his own office to hear him drivelling on instead of getting to the point. He would have no life for at least a month otherwise. Jean would have made sure of that.

 

“If you could be a bit more specific, Sir, I would really appreciate that,” Eren heard and was that a hint of sarcasm or was he just being overly sensitive? Not that it wouldn’t be warranted in this situation if Eren was to be honest. Still…

 

Eren’s brain was lost at this point, though, so he just couldn’t think of a way to get back on track. Staying silent for a moment longer did not seem like a bad idea.

 

“Ok. How about we start simply with a few basic details so I can open a ticket for you right now and then we can hash out some relevant steps to address your issue.” Because apparently, Eren has become a simpleton in a matter of three minutes flat. 

 

He couldn’t reproach the man for having thought so in the current circumstances. He supposed it was best to follow the other man’s lead or calling a second time would be unavoidable.

 

“Yeah. Sure. Fine by me. Whatever you need,” he replied and if that sounded more obsequious than he cared to admit, it was too late to take it back.

 

“Great. What’s your name and surname?” the silky voice asked and it dawned on Eren that he himself actually new the name behind it. 

 

Levi. 

 

As ridiculous as that might be, he was tempted to test out just how it would sound spoken out loud by him. It was not the time to play around, though. He meant business after all. He did. Scout’s honour! That was the purpose of his call in the first place. So what that he had never been a Scout or even entertained the idea… His intentions counted, right? And his intentions were purely about fixing the issue and being able to report back to his boss it has been successful. Eren was all about it. Work-related thoughts. Pure thoughts. Focus! 

 

He was such a wreck. And his friends kept telling him he should have got laid by now. He should have listened. Now he was drooling over an unsuspecting guy’s voice and at work to boot. 

 

Bloody hell, that’s where his pride, stubbornness and ideals led him. To a pit stop of patheticness. It seemed so at that moment at least. Was he honestly that desperate or was there something else at play? It’s not like Eren was cognizant of whatever else might have caused this kind of over-the-top and peculiar reaction on his side.

 

He shook his head to get out of his head and concentrate on the words being said to him instead just on the voice expressing them. 

 

“It’s Eren Jeager,” he for once said confidently.

 

“If you could spell that for me, Eren. I want to be sure I have it down correctly,” the man replied and Eren was thankful for the chair under his ass as never before, certain it had spared him from kissing the floor with his teeth due to the abrupt weakness in his knees that melodic utterance of his name had caused.

 

“Y-Yeah. It’s E for…” his brain was still not cooperating with him because, for the life of him,  aside of his own name he could not think of a single word starting with the letter ‘e’. Tabula rasa. Brain reset. Call it as you wish… He refused to spell E for Eren.

 

“E for Echo?” the voice supplied and Eren caught himself nodding as if that was any good when they couldn’t see each other. 

 

Now that would have been a crazy ride had it been the case. He didn’t even want to imagine what kind of facial expression of his Levi would have been subjected to had they indeed seen each other from the very beginning of the conversation. Or at all really… Eren would have had to crawl under the desk for sure. 

 

“Yes. E for Echo. R for … Rum.” No better way to disclose a possible alcohol addiction. Applause for Eren Jeager on that one. “E for Echo. N for Nerd.” And Eren could have sworn there was a moment of unnatural silence at that one. Maybe it was a moment of silence to commemorate the last vestiges of his confidence. Eren suspected ‘mute’ was more likely. He was not stupid. He had one as well. They taught him well just how that was of use… He had to continue though. Were he to stop, he would never finish the stupid spelling. “As for my surname, it’s J for Joke,” which was a perfect description of his efforts to stay poised and what the guy thought he most probably was. “A for Aspirin,” that Eren would most certainly need after finishing the call. “E for Echo. G…” and he really tried to stop himself from spouting it. It was out of place and inappropriate, but it was out before he could bite his tongue. “For Gay,” followed by the second most awkward silence of his life. It positioned just after the accidental fart he had let out moments before having had the chance to reach second base with his first boyfriend of sorts. Needless to say, that had not gone well. Also, not much has changed since then, it seemed, as he still reacted involuntarily in face of stress. 

 

“I wanted to suggest G for Golf, but Gay works just fine,” Levi said rather matter of factly, but Eren could bet his beloved good old Dell desktop there was a barely held back snicker right there. At least the guy didn’t sound homophobic, which was a plus. He also didn’t hang up on him, which Eren kind of expected at this point. “Is it E for Echo and R for Rum at the end, Eren?” he continued as if Eren hadn’t wholly embarrassed himself seconds ago.

 

“Yeah,” he just finished disheartened, positive it couldn’t get worse from there. Surely, there wasn’t much more he could say to make even more of an idiot out of himself.

 

“Good. Now, in case the line drops please confirm your contact phone and email,” Levi asked and Eren blanched once more. 

 

He had no idea what was the number he was calling Levi from. It was the office phone and he didn’t think it would be necessary to know it by heart. 

 

“Ugh… Can’t you see the number I am calling from? Honestly, I’ve no idea what it is. I almost never use it myself and it is for internal purposes only, so we never provide it to people outside of the office. Customers, I mean,” he rattled on, his nervousness increasing by the second rather than a minute. 

 

“Sorry. I don’t have the option to display the caller’s number. Do you have a contact email then?” the man asked patiently and Eren was almost ready to claw his eyes out. How could such a simple thing get so complicated? 

 

It was one of those days that just kept getting more lousy as it went to the point you thought the universe was against you for some reason. 

 

He should have known the moment he had missed his alarm by thirty minutes which made him forgo breakfast only to moments later find out he was actually out of toothpaste and had him settle on mouthwash instead. If that wasn’t enough, his card has been rejected for an unknown reason at the local deli near his office so he couldn’t get a sandwich he was able to stomach and he wound up with an imitation sandwich from the vending machine. Everyone knew to steer clear of them unless they were seriously pressed for food, which Eren unfortunately was at that moment. He had yet to attempt eating it, as he was afraid of possible repercussions. All of that had been followed up by this disaster of a call during which he seemed to be unable to gather his bearings and presented an image of himself that had him cringing both mentally and physically. 

 

Now, no he didn’t actually remember his office’s phone number and yes, he was supposed to have a working email of course. Some idiot in IT, who looking at how his own endeavour was not so graciously unfolding, might have been similarly unlucky, had his email set up incorrectly and it ended up blocking any messages from an external server. Should have been an easy fix, but of course they had more pressing projects that the IT newbie’s mailbox working correctly when there was virtually no reason he would get any external mail. If he did, it wouldn’t have been work related anyway. Until now, at least. That was something they didn’t consider… It also wasn’t why he was calling as it was an internal issue they could and had to solve themselves and took a few right clicks of the administrator. Not like he cared enough, though. Eren was only a newbie after all and not all that important. That went beautifully…

 

And so, he did the first and only thing that came to his mind again. What other options did he have? Not like he memorized and had access to the other guys’ emails. 

 

“Ok. Well… Please just use my personal email as I am going to be managing the ticket. That would be jeagerbombs@hotmail.com,” he confirmed grudgingly, having provided his old email account, as the hotmail one for some unfathomable reason was not blocked by their proxy while while his current contact address he couldn’t open unless he wanted his boss to know he had tried working around the proxy. 

 

He had had that conversation already and wouldn’t recommend. While it wasn’t uncommon and unacceptable to bypass the proxy set up for the majority of the employees, he had been made aware of his newbie status and so not having earned that privilege at his stage of employment. Quoting, he was supposed to ‘ _ focus on his goddamn responsibilities until he could perform with one hand and eyes closed instead of reading Reddit, scrolling cat memes or trying to watch zombie marathons like all the other morons tended to do with too much freedom on their hands and not enough supervision _ ’.

 

That’s how life treated him recently. No zombies and relics of his boyhood decisions in the form of old discreditable addresses he ought to have long forgotten but that hounded him in his supposed adulthood. 

 

Eren did not feel like an adult in the slightest. Not faced with the Levi guy who had the voice of his dreams, hinting at the indecent side of things, and his own lack of faculties in general. It was sad… and made him upset. Was it really something to get upset over? Maybe, maybe not. He didn’t like feeling incompetent and troublesome. That’s exactly how he felt and it didn’t sit well with him.

 

“Jeager as in your surname and then B for Bravo, O for Oscar, M for Mike, B for Bravo and S for Sierra? Did I get that right?” Levi spelled easily and Eren envied him the ease of it. Why was it anything but easy for him? They shouldn’t have allowed for a guy with such a distracting voice to work on such a helpline and Eren would stand by it until the end, whatever that may be.

 

He didn’t plan to confess to anyone just how much of a noob he made himself sound like, though. He had his basic instinct of self-preservation… 

 

“Correct,” Eren confirmed and waited apprehensively for the next question.

 

“What’s your company’s name?” Levi inquired further and for once it was something Eren could easily answer.

 

“Scouting Legion,” he replied, the air he kept in suddenly leaving his chest in a rush of temporary relief only to come back magnified as he realized just how loud his breath must have sounded over the phone, taking into account how close to his mouth he was holding the speaker. 

 

He didn’t need to imagine how unpleasant that was for the person on the other end of the line. He knew that well from the little experience he had. Also, there was a very telling hiss Levi had not managed to mute on time followed by a single beep and Levi’s next words coming out much more silent.

 

It gave Eren’s frazzled nerves a doubtlessly much needed reprieve. Even if it resulted in another spike piercing right through the remnants of his crippled pride.

 

“Thank you, Eren. Now that we have the basic details, please tell me what it is exactly that you require my assistance with today,” Levi informed and Eren could hear the slight difference in his tone, having lost some of the initially present warmth. 

 

Not like it had offended him, but he did take it as a form of personal defeat. It was only a minor setback in the grand scale of things if he were to actually focus on the fact he was working and not trying to gain sympathy of an unknown man whose work was to pick up the phone, try to help people and be polite about it. 

 

Levi was being polite. It was Eren who presented the issue with his lack of levelheadedness… Right. He was asked about the issue. That was it. What he called for. Just tell this man the damn issue and be on his merry way!

 

“Sure. You see, the thing is we’re trying to upgrade to the newest version of the Survey Corps editing package and no matter what I try, I get an error message that the key used is invalid. I mean, I’ve tried restarting at the beginning as sometimes it’s a stupid small thing like that which helps, but no luck. I know for sure the key hasn’t been used on other machines so it can’t be there is not enough activations. I do have admin permissions so I am not sure what is preventing me from activation…” he announced, happy he finally knew what he was talking about, causing a small smile of satisfaction to tug at his lips.

 

There were maybe two seconds of silence before Levi spoke, his voice a verbal caress to Eren’s ears. It made his lips tingle and he was sure that spoke of trouble so he nipped it in the bud, pinching himself hard on his wrist. He managed to hit his knee on the underside of his desk thanks to that, but the pain was worth any possible stupidity that could have otherwise left his mouth.

 

“If I understood correctly, you cannot activate the product due to the key not being accepted. Also, you have mentioned the newest version. Is is the 2018 June release then?” Levi asked back and it was obvious he listened which made Eren’s heart thump a bit harder.

 

Laughable, taking into consideration it was Levi’s job to listen and it was maybe two sentence which made it easy to follow. However, it’s not like Eren could fully control his reactions, which had been made painfully clear from the beginning of the call. Might as well let it be…

 

“That’s the one. Do you have any idea what’s wrong? I really need to get it going or my boss is going to have my head…” Eren stressed and it was only a small exaggeration. 

 

Pixis would make sure to create a small hell for Eren in case of failure. He was having a bad month due to his wife’s elderly parents who had moved in with them until further notice. The whole company had been made aware of that in a rather painful way.

 

“There are a few things to address in this situation. Firstly, I would need to know what is the source of the product. There are a few options to purchase Survey Corps products and how they are managed may depend on that,” Levi explained shortly.

 

“We have a Survey Corps license as far as I know?” he replied weekly. He didn’t mean for it to sound like a question. 

 

“Ok. Do you have a license number then? If you had purchased the product under a license you would have received an order confirmation with the details of the transaction, individual license number and a link to register on our management portal for business customers. Once you confirm the license number I should be able to find it in the system and check if the activation doesn’t proceed due to any licensing issues or whether it is strictly technical,” the man’s no-nonse aapproach made Eren relax the slightest bit in his office chair.

 

Until the realization that he might not have what is needed had come upon him. He desperately needed to show there was some competence left in him, but it was proving to be increasingly difficult the longer he stayed on the phone.

 

How did he not think to prepare whatever documentation for the product they had? They asked for his customer number when he called his bank or phone provider so why had he suddenly become so clueless?

 

Hi gaze fell on the desk with papers upon papers that he had gone through last Friday. To think they were supposedly in the digital era and he still had a stack of documents on his desk? He was in IT for crying out loud… 

 

He did recall, though, they had printed him a copy of the order which he had had a brief look at before the weekend. Why bother instead of forwarding him an email? Could have been Jean, who had started maybe four months before him, and had decided to screw efficient if it would screw Eren over. 

 

They had this thing going on… A stupid rivalry of kinds that had no rhyme or reason. It was a story for another time though.

 

“Give me a sec. I just need to double-check for it. Just… Just hold on for a moment and I’ll have it for you,” Eren tried to reassure Levi, but he wasn’t even kidding himself. He quickly lifted the mike of his headset so it was pointing to the ceiling and all but dove into the sheets of paper on his  [ desk ](https://www.google.pl/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.synergy-african.com%2Fuploads%2F4%2F8%2F0%2F9%2F48090811%2F9812019_orig.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.synergy-african.com%2Fgardenhome_blog%2F30-coolest-and-inspiring-multi-monitor-setups&docid=kJsm9NmwRNEqDM&tbnid=XB3rzqYdyqPabM%3A&vet=10ahUKEwix9vyNkvrcAhUD_KQKHT5dBsQQMwibAShUMFQ..i&w=600&h=333&hl=en&bih=798&biw=1536&q=three%20monitors%20desk%20setup%20at%20the%20office&ved=0ahUKEwix9vyNkvrcAhUD_KQKHT5dBsQQMwibAShUMFQ&iact=mrc&uact=8) in search of the one he actually required.

 

Still, not much was going his way that day. In his overzealousness he hit the long forgotten bottle of water, cap not properly twisted back on, and so created a mini version of what seemed like the Genesis flood. 

 

Papers? Wet. Desk? Wet. Eren? Very much wet as his lap didn’t escape the aftermath. He was so fucking thankful he was using a headset instead of his mobile and that his phone he was usually using stood in the very corner of the desk which had left it spared from this wreckage.

 

It was so not Eren’s day… It would have been funny was he not the main protagonist of the disaster. He would have laughed good heartedly and patted the unfortunate lad on the back had it been somebody else. 

 

“Shit, shit, shit! What a friggin’ disaster. Why, just why is this happening to me today?” he jumped to a standing position while talking to himself and trying to spare whatever was possible with the use of tissues he had on hand due to his allergies. 

 

He had the fleeting thought that maybe he should succumb to temptation; just throw in the towel and call it a day. Quitting was not his style, though. He was the kind of person who was usually the first to throw down the gauntlet in the face of adversity, no matter its magnitude. So he had to push ahead and see this through. He did foresee an epic night of wallowing in self-pity later on that included the usual entourage aside of his obvious presence: his trusty couch, favourite fluffy blanket in just the right relaxing hue of moss green, Maltesers because he needed one unhealthy coping mechanism and some good old Netflix. Magnus Bane had never let him down when he needed a little pick me up…

 

“Eren, are you there? Everything alright?” the deep voice that was the ultimate cause of his ungraceful undoing resounded in the headphones. 

 

It sounded just on the right side of politely concerned but tired nonetheless. Eren sympathized with it. He really did. They were on the same boat. Both each others’ reason for distress. It was more Eren flailing, though, and Levi just plain suffering due to Eren’s ineptitude. 

 

Saying he was alright was the obviously correct choice; that’s simply how it went according to their cultural norms, savoir vivre and however else you were to call it. You didn’t start ranting to random strangers about how shitty your days was, what was bugging you at a given moment, yada yada yada… Eren was often known for not following the well-known social norms, mostly because he tended to act before giving himself a chance to think over whatever his next words or actions were. 

 

It was a work in progress, okay? Sometimes he caught himself in time to avoid later regret. It was not that time.

 

“Ugh… Sorry… I might have… spilled my water on whatever document you wanted me to refer to? Listen, I am really sorry for being such a pain in the ass. I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t seem to focus and I realize it’s not doing anyone any favours, but I seriously need to get this done…” he spilled his guts which should have probably been on the list of stupid ideas of the day. He did show some level of mental restraint surprisingly, as there was no way he didn’t know what had interfered with his, either way, perpetually depleted reserves of  self-discipline. It was thankfully left unmentioned.

 

His confession bore no response initially. He wasn’t even in a relationship and he was still met with silent treatment. Way to go.

 

This time it was him who could hear a loud intake of breath on the other end of the line and what he thought was Levi getting ready to verbally obliterate him in the most courteous and diplomatic way known to humankind. He did call customer service after all, he had preconceived expectations of this nature. Nobody could blame him…

 

That’s what he strongly hoped for honestly. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to deal with being admonished by Levi in a less than pleasant way. He would not cry of course, but he would break a little…

 

“Ok, Eren. I can hear this is important to you and that you need to have this resolved as fast as possible. That’s why there are two ways we can do this. First, I may give you your case number and you can call back later today, once you have the license number ready and have some time to take care of the water I guess is all over your desk. Chances are that at least one colleague of yours my have a hairdryer you can use to salvage whatever documents possible. Just don’t try to separate whatever has stuck together when it’s still completely wet. It’s best to wait until it’s only partially damp. Otherwise it’s very easy to tear. Second option is that I will now tell you the most likely possibilities that may resolve your issue and you can try them either now or later and call back with the case number if needed. That really depends on you and what was not lucky enough to escape the water accident and how important it is to try and save it,” Levi graciously offered and Eren thought that some of his own brain cells must have got fried at some point as he couldn’t comprehend how Levi’s answer could be real.

 

Maybe it wasn’t and his tired brain was supplying whatever gibberish it had on hand? Did he just receive advice about paper drying? Hairdryers? 

 

Levi had just casually mentioned the disaster of Eren’s creation and offered a solution as if it was perfectly normal for him to advise people about the most random things and sounded pretty certain that it was plausible for somebody to have a hairdryer at work? What…?!

 

He spoke about all of that without a hitch; no change in the volume or tone of his voice. Composed, offering what sounded like an irrefutable argument in the most bizarre work-related conversation Eren has had outside of his own workplace so far. 

 

Eren felt like internally his mind had translated that into having been given a command by a high standing officer instead of a suggestion by a Survey Corps consultant. There was a supposed choice there, but he had a hunch it was all but a mirage that was to lull him into a false sense of security and sustain a belief he had any say in how the situation was to unfold at this stage. He fell for it, though. He instantly bought into it and clutched at it like a drowning man clutches at a straw. 

 

He might have been naive but he preferred not to attribute negative intentions to people right off the bat. Plus, anybody who listened to the call with Levi would take his assertion as an honest offering of help to a distressed individual. It was solely based on that and not at all linked with Eren’s weakness for the steady and silken tones of Levi’s speech. 

 

Frankly, with each word uttered by Levi it felt as if all of Eren’s senses were being wrapped in a sensuous cocoon of utter bliss. The man’s voice had this smoky kind of quality to it that effortlessly effused masculinity. Apparently Eren had this ‘thing’ for assertive husky voices and Levi’s had exactly that kind of allure that could cajole him into pretty much anything, Eren was sure.

 

At that moment, he had been given a chance not only to keep on track with this bloody product activation. It was a way to prolong his conversation with Levi. Not that Eren was doing much conversing, really… 

 

Funny thing how moments before he had been dreading staying on the phone a minute longer than necessary in fear of messing up even more only to anxiously wait for a few more honeyed words from Levi. 

 

Eren’s levels of stress, that seemed to have fluctuated from relatively low and having reached a whopping seven on the scale of ten during the water spillage fiasco, have now settled to a manageable degree at maybe a three once Levi had spared him from a justified but still harrowing harangue highlighting Eren’s amateurishness.

 

He must have been itching to do so and yet he withheld from it. That’s what Eren imagined at least. He knew had it been Jean in his position and Eren in Levi’s, he wouldn’t have spared his colleague from a whole spiel about professionalism. The fact that Levi had curbed such a natural for most desire was one more reason aside of his velvety voice to admire.

 

That Eren had contemplated all of that at all might have just meant he was getting progressively more unhinged during the span of the call. He was going to ignore it as long as everybody stayed in one piece, however. As good a strategy as any in his opinion…

 

“Wow… Umh… I didn’t expect that piece of information. I mean, why would anyone bring a hairdryer to their workplace? Also, I am not sure I have enough patience to wait until everything dries to see if it’s any good,” Eren felt the need to confess in the end, though it was surely not what he should have addressed. He was trying Levi’s patience and it was like asking for a scolding.

 

“You might be surprised at the things people carry around with them. Especially to work. There are quite a lot of people who go to a gym before or after their shift and instead of waiting for the facility available hairdryers bring their own. Aside of that, they say patience is a virtue for a reason. To act in haste may be another accident in the making and I believe everyone would rather avoid that.” Eren couldn’t help but chuckle at that one.

 

He had a sneaking suspicion or two… Levi’s know-how made Eren inclined to believe he was exactly one of those people who carried a hairdryer with them. Not that there was anything wrong with it. More… endearing, actually? He could almost imagine it. 

 

But venturing too deep into Eren’s  imagination was a foray into treacherous territory. One misstep and you’d get swallowed by quicksands. And there, down under lay all the concupiscent urges and sentiments he’d rather not scrutinize in a public setting. And there was potential… Levi right out of a shower at the gym, a towel snug around his hips with water droplets trickling down his chest with a hand running through his wet hair while he let the heat of a hairdryer run through the surely silky strands, just like is enthralling voice. It wasn’t an issue that he had no idea what Levi looked like in reality.

 

Yup… He was curbing the desire to see where that particular mind path takes him and putting a lock on it. 

 

The other suspicion was that Levi did not mean only Eren benefitting from taking a breather and preventing another accident from happening. He might have made a silent prayer to any entity who was willing to listen to be able to wrap this up sooner rather than later.

 

“I’ll take your word for it then. Taking the second route you’ve mentioned, what would be the best tip to apply in my predicament?” he asked, coming back to the ‘supposed to be’ main point of interest.

 

“Let me then make a short rapidfire question session to establish further where we’re at,” he confirmed and Eren hummed in acknowledgment to get the show on the road finally. “Are you sure the key and download a from the same source? Need to be for compatibility reasons.”

 

“Positive. I saw my boss access your portal and take it off the page. I just don’t have access there myself yet,” Eren affirmed, cursing internally for not having the clearance to log in himself which would have made things a lot easier.

 

“Good. There are no trial versions of the product running on the machine?” was another question.

 

“Nope. Made sure to double-check as there were a few computers with evaluation copies indeed, but those were all in the training facility and we do keep track of where each computer has been set up and used,” he was able to verify with conviction.

 

“To confirm, you said you switched the machine on and off and you ran the process as the admin?”

 

“Exactly,” Eren nodded unconsciously in agreement.

 

“In this case, and as you said you’re sure there should be enough activations left on the key, there is one thing that comes to my mind and it is a pre-installed version of our product or its remains in the system that influence the activation. Sometimes there is that pre-installed key that need to be removed first from the system for the activation to run smoothly. It’s a probability, though, it might be something else. Sometimes keys get blocked for various reasons or your license is no longer valid. Currently we are unable to confirm that so lets give this a try…” Levi hummed in contemplation, his voice dropping by a hair but still detectably enough to cause a shiver in Eren.

 

What a sweet torture that was… to have to appear indifferent while all Eren wanted to do was to ask Levi to murmur sweet nothings to him.

 

“That… sounds legit. So if our computer came with the system there could be some Survey Corps products pre-installed that we didn’t remove or there is a component left that may be causing this mess?” He questioned, generally interested as it wasn’t something that came up to his mind when he tried troubleshooting himself. Now that he thought about it, should have been obvious…

 

“Yes. There are some vendors who have an agreement with us and their hardware is equipped with some of our software. It might be a suite of some kind which included a component you are trying to activate. Naming might be different than for a single product. Do you have access to the computer in question right now, Eren?” Levi inquired after his succinct explanation. 

 

“Yeah. I’m in front of it. Miraculously, the keyboard only got remotely wet; not enough to damage anything. What should I do?”  

 

“I want you to open a Command Prompt and run it as an administrator. Now, do you know what command to run to check for a key that has been used for installation of the product? You just need to make sure you type in the one based on your system and version of the product in question. If done correctly you should see the last five digits of the key there. If you’d like, I may send you a link that shows the right commands based on the combination you have on your machine. That will show us if the system used the pre-installed key instead of the right one. If so, you should be able to run another command to remove it and then replace with the correct key you have from our portal,” Levi clarified and Eren listened attentively to every word, making sure he would be able to follow the offered instruction.

 

“That’s fine. Let me try first,” he said eagerly, swiping the wet papers to one side of the desk, uncaring of their state. There was nothing there he couldn’t replicate and he was more than ready to give something a try that could put him closer to a resolution. He didn’t even care that his  [ sleeves ](https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/407435097534416992/) were getting wet. He was too focused on doing what Levi had mentioned.

 

His first success was opening the Command Prompt as the admin. It was the easiest part, though. He’d done this too many times to count. It was more about typing in the right prompt. Now, that he had done a couple of times at the most and he wasn’t confident he new exactly what needed to be done. There was no way he could ask Levi to send him an email and cut the call there.

 

And so he did the only thing one does when in doubt. He googled it. And if there was one thing he was a master at, it was googling things right. 

 

Moments later he was typing up the right prompt and couldn’t stop the jovial guffaw that left his mouth at the result. Bingo!

 

“I gather that had been a sound of joy. Meaning, something must have gone right, Eren?” Levi’s query cut through Eren’s not so subtle exhibition of jubilation, bringing him back to earth and reminding him he was not alone in his quest after this small IT victory.

 

“Sorry. I got a bit overexcited there,” he admitted sheepishly. “You were completely right on that one. I can see the last digits of the key and it’s not the new one I’ve received. How I’ve missed that is beyond me… I just need to…” Eren mumbled distractedly, following further Levi’s advice and in no time the activation was running after he had typed in fully the right key. One last ‘enter’ and he was done.

 

He was friggin done with this activation! He could barely believe it had actually happened. He was kind of afraid to restart the computer in fear it would undo the process, but it was a silly fear. 

 

Levi had saved him from Pixis’ wrath. It was a bumpy ride on different accounts, yet fruitful in the end. The fact he had made a fool of himself multiple times along the way was dimmed by the final victory. Temporarily…

 

“Activated! I am looking at an activated product. You’re a godsend, Levi! You’re the best thing that had happened to me today. No joke… I am so happy right now I could literally hug you given the chance!” Eren exclaimed breathlessly, smiling like a maniac.

 

There was a hesitant grunt of affirmation from Levi followed, unsurprisingly, by awkward silence on both sides once Eren had realized the overtone of his ebullient profession.

 

Levi was the first to gather himself. No surprise there…

 

“Well… Based on your… feedback I am inclined to understand my help today was satisfactory. I am happy I could be of assistance, Eren. Is there anything else I could address right now?” Levi asked and it was so painfully polite and scripted that Eren cringed, mentally berating himself for the lack of moderation in sharing his recovered good spirits.

 

He was so stupidly clueless sometimes it hurt to think about it.

 

“No… No. All is good now. I got what I needed. There are no other questions,” he admitted, his cheerfulness leaving him like air being pushed out of a deflated balloon. 

 

“In that case I shall close your ticket as resolved. To let you know, it may happen you’ll get a customer satisfaction survey in your mailbox in which you may rate my assistance from today,” Levi added and Eren wept a little.

 

That was it. He knew. Of course he knew he was a customer survey in the making. It was no surprise and no fault of Levi’s. Still, it was a tad sad how that must have influenced the flow of the entire call. 

 

How to differentiate genuine care from corporate-molded customer friendly approach? Was that possible? Was it important at all if the result had been the same: issue solved and Eren having been well taken care of? Could a person expect or even demand  a genuine interest in their affairs from a stranger getting likely underpaid and overworked? From his own limited experience in the workforce Eren had his doubts.

 

Despite that, Eren had this need to be a bit special in Levi’s eyes. The only kind of special he accomplished, however, was probably the kind he’d rather forget. The least he could hope for was Levi not mentioning their call to his entire office to have a good laugh at his expense or immortalizing him on a so called ‘wall of fame’. They had one as well at their office and it was no easy feat to be featured on it. Had your words landed there, it would be nothing to gloat about… 

 

Was he regretful? Naturally. He could have handled the whole thing in a much more mature way. Was there anything he could do now to take it back? Not at all. There was just damage control left and he would make sure to give the best feedback in the darn survey to close Levi’s and his encounter on a more positive note and maybe prevent any regrets on Levi’s side. A recompense for his superb patience.

 

On that note, his time with Levi had come to an end and he had to say his goodbyes and deal with the damage the call had caused to his frail psyche.

 

“Of course. Ten out of ten would recommend. Thank you for your help and sorry for taking so much of your time. Have a good day,” Eren replied.

 

“No problem. Thank you for calling and have a good day as well. Eren,” Levi said.

 

And Eren might have imagined it, but he thought the man put an emphasis on his name that the meaning of he couldn’t figure out. It left him in such awe that he had realized only ten second later that he needed to hung up and scrambled to do so while trying to ignore the goosebumps Levi’s melodious goodbye had inadvertently caused.

 

He wasn’t sure how to feel about the call as a whole. He  _ was _ sure that the speaker had left a lasting impression. There was no way he could get rid of that voice from his head. 

 

Levi.

 

Survey Corps knew how to pick them and confuse poor and unsuspecting people just like Eren who fell for the charm… Pity his impression had to be the exact opposite. 


	2. Of Stairs and brooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's side of the story. Where stairs and stubbornness don't go together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am with another chapter. It may be more thoughtful and less humorous, but I've felt some insight into Levi's life and past would be well fitting further with the story and Levi's reactions/attitude. I also find that each time I write more from his perspective it is more somber. I did have to fit in a few jabs here and there. Can't resign from humour completely .
> 
> Also, thank you for the comments and kudos. Especially at the beginning of posting a story it is encouraging to have feedback from readers. Appreciate each of you immensely.

Levi stared unblinkingly at his middle monitor for a couple of seconds. Then he closed his somber eyes, inhaled deeply and steadily let the air out while counting to ten in his head. His heavy eyelids opened and zeroed in on the name on the screen and he swiftly locked it.

 

He stood up from his brown faux leather [ chair ](https://www.google.pl/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fretrato.me%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F12%2Fmy-triple-monitor-setup-computer-screen-desk-arm-adjustable-mount-swivel.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fretrato.me%2Fthree-monitor-computer-desk%2Foffice-design-furniture-desk-persons-computer-ideas-spirit-work-home-multiple-monitors-homcom-21-acrylic-monitor-riser-stand-ikea-arms%2F&docid=0LX659aDL9PSAM&tbnid=HK66smzPmW5SvM%3A&vet=12ahUKEwjh_-bbkvrcAhWrC5oKHYlMCYM4ZBAzKDAwMHoECAEQMg..i&w=4032&h=2712&hl=en&bih=798&biw=1536&q=three%20monitors%20desk%20setup%20at%20the%20office&ved=2ahUKEwjh_-bbkvrcAhWrC5oKHYlMCYM4ZBAzKDAwMHoECAEQMg&iact=mrc&uact=8) that was supposed to be ergonomic but constantly pissed him off with its uselessly high headrest and the squeaky sound it made dared he move too abruptly. It swivelled violently as he pushed it to his right side to pocket his pack of Marlboro Gold Touch, which had remained unopened on his desk for quite some time. and his halfway used-up cheap plastic lighter. The long sleeves of his charcoal [ henley ](https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/407435097534339882/) were rolled up to his elbows methodically and the black bomber jacket thrown over his back uncaringly. Lastly, he cast one look at the other occupants of the room consisting of Petra to his left and Gunther, Erd and Oluo opposite to them to check if everybody was there.

 

“If Erwin comes, tell him I went for a piss. And a cigarette,” he announced bluntly to his colleagues, already moving for the door before any of them had a chance to answer, swiftly bypassing Petra who had been typing out what seemed like a novel and not an email. He stopped midway, though, his lips forming a thin line. “Now I think about it, don’t tell him about the cig or he’ll harp on me for the next month again,” he added and left the room not looking back.

 

His plan was to go to the back of their [ building ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/jinkazamah/5624252675) where nobody would chastise him for having  a smoke. Not many people ventured there at this hour as well, which was admittedly the spot’s biggest advantage. Most employees preferred to relax at the inner [ courtyard ](https://pxhere.com/en/photo/619290) which Erwin proudly liked to refer to as a modernly designed city oasis. Levi would always offhandedly disagree it was more like a meticulously maintained grass covered enclosure. It was a bit too well thought out to his liking. Nothing natural or raw in it. Every piece of greenery in its rightful, designated place. Was it better than concrete on concrete? Sure. Levi didn’t think it was worth the lofty comparison Erwin liked to supply each time somebody mentioned it.

 

However, while his plan itself might have been good, the execution of it left a lot to be desired. It was a good question what could go wrong with a plan that simple. Well… surprisingly a lot.

 

Levi loathed small and confined spaces, which ruled out taking the lift to the ground floor. Levi’s office was on the sixth floor. You see where this was going? Now, sixth floor… one might say no sweat there. Especially going down a few flights of stairs. Why should that pose an issue. The worst that could happen would be getting slightly out of breath or some unwanted perspiration.

 

Levi was not a lazy man. He couldn’t if he he tried, mostly due to his upbringing and the habits that his life’s experiences brought with it. Working out was not a chore but something he did like some drank their coffee in the morning or brushed their teeth. He enjoyed it and made sure he got some form of exercise every day. It brought him a sense of peace, helped to center himself, relax. It also brought with it a sense of power over his own mind and body which was by now akin to a necessity for him. As a result, his body as a whole was in better than average shape with lean muscle mass, still sharp reflexes and admirable balance. His everyday desk job had not stopped him from perpetuating his exercise routine. Notwithstanding his consistent regimen, the current state of things was not satisfactory for him. Anything but, actually...

 

There was a reason why Levi resigned himself to working a desk job instead of pursuing a more physically active career.

 

It has been a year and a half since his shitty riot of an uncle Kenny died in a car crash. It has also been a year and a half since same accident had left Levi with a fucked up leg that refused to cooperate with Levi’s wishes. Such as being able to climb up and down six flights of bloody stairs without limping and cursing every other step he had to take due to the sharp pain running down his left leg and to his ankle.

 

His refusal to leave things as they were had managed to take him out of a wheelchair and back on his legs faster than anyone had anticipated, there were no miracles though. He was left with a limp and pain was no stranger to him.

 

Had he paid more attention to his surroundings in his haste to leave his desk, he would have not forgotten his walking [ cane ](https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/407435097534414402/). He detested having to use it despite its purpose being to alleviate some of the pressure that walking put on his ankle and so cut down on the strain it underwent on a daily basis. At the beginning his co-workers, especially good hearted Petra, had reminded him to take it if he was going anywhere. After all the times he had snapped at them to mind their own fucking business they now pretended not to see his struggle and politely focused their eyes on everything but Levi’s leg and his cane.

 

His mindset had left Levi stranded on the second floor as his determination alone was not enough to move him from spot A to spot B. Frustrated he couldn’t just ignore the severe throbbing, he slid down the wall and sat down where he was; back against the wall and left leg stretched along the length of the single step he was on. He could feel the coldness of the stone seeping through his thin shirt and jeans but paid it no mind. He didn’t even care there was no way he was sitting on a clean surface. The front of his skull and temples had also joined the party and a dull throb was slowly developing behind them.

 

He knew he had had it coming. There was an underlying tension under his skin no matter what  he did that week. It was as if he constantly lived with a low key headache that made him unpleasantly oversensitive and irritable. He hated it. He was good at hiding it behind his usual stone face on a daily basis but eventually it had caught up with him.

 

As he saw it, there was a low chance of anyone finding him where he was if they weren’t purposely looking for him. Almost everybody in the building preferred to use the lift rather than the stairs and it was passed lunch hour for most. He was also on the back end of the building which was used mainly in case of emergencies as it had a wider staircase than the fancy white marble steps at the heart of the office. Unless there was a delivery that somehow didn’t fit the service lift, he doubted anyone would come across him. That suited him just fine…

 

His hand made its way into the pocket of his black jeans, fishing out the crumpled pack of cigarettes and the lighter. His thumb run over the bold logo mindlessly while he contemplated whether starting back up on this habit was worth the trouble of having the smoke clinging to his clothes and body like a piece of gum stuck in one’s hair.

 

When he had started up on the smoking a mere three months after the crash he used to say when asked that if Kenny couldn’t kill him despite having tried his best, something else had to take over the job. However, Erwin and Hanji’s joined effort had him quit half a year ago. He was wondering how long it would stick. He’d lasted longer than anticipated either way…

 

He knew that cigarettes were nothing but a distraction; a dirty and repugnant coping mechanism he had tried to lose himself in and second best to alcohol that would have been the first choice. The fact that booze had caused Kenny’s untimely death and his own suffering kept him away from it. Becoming like his good-for-nothing dipsomaniac excuse of an uncle filled him with dread. He had not touched a drop of alcohol since the accident because of that. Cigarettes? They could only kill him and nobody else. He’d never smoked in the presence of non-smokers or when walking down the street, aware of exposing whoever was there to the cancerous smoke otherwise.

 

Levi sighed heavily and shoved the damned pack back into his jeans, angry at himself for not being able to decide what it was that he wanted. Quitting wasn’t only for Erwin and Hanji and his piece of mind at having stopped them from nagging thanks to it. No. He knew he wasn’t really in control when he had started having to reach for a fag to calm down his nerves whenever something unexpected happened. That realization had hit him hard and the next day he’d quit cold turkey and had him throw away all cigarettes that he had but the pack now disfiguring his pocket.

 

Truthfully, he wasn’t craving a cigarette itself. It was easier for him to focus his thoughts on such an activity⏤feeling the burning in his lungs and throat, having to follow the pattern of breathing in and letting the smoke out⏤and for a moment forget about anything else that was trying to make its way to the forefront of his mind; unwanted.

 

Ironic that he’d let himself fall victim to that for so long when he often refused or forgot to use a physical crutch in the form of his cane that he did need when his leg run out of strength.

 

There was nothing in particular that had caused the tension to overflow and overwhelm him. It was a myriad of small things throughout the week that had piled up. The last call he had picked up before leaving was simply the cherry on top of the surely very ugly and foul tasting cake.

 

It was effortless to recall the caller’s name.

 

Eren. Eren Jeager.

 

The guy had rubbed him in all the wrong ways possible during the call. He evidently wasn’t even trying to be an ass about it, unlike some entitled customers who thought it was their paramount mission in life to make Levi understand how wrong he was by making him miserable and insisting what exactly he needed to do to fix it for them. No.

 

Eren sounded a lot like a brat who had been told what to do but not how by his boss and then had been left to his own devices, only to be entirely intimidated by his first adult customer service experience.

 

One would think that nowadays, with how common it was to have to call somewhere to get things done, people would know how to approach such a situation, as if they had sucked that knowledge with the milk of their mother right after birth, but it was far from the truth. Some people could stuff their whole heads up their ass in search of common sense and still wouldn’t find the basics of how to act like a human being and not a spastic troglodyte on the phone.

 

A few months in Survey Corps was more than enough for Levi to understand that not being face to face with their speaker made for an easy target; sometimes one that people just couldn’t seem to let go, though it was the wisest choice.

 

To some, he became like the proverbial pimple on the very middle of one’s back. You could feel it and try your best to reach it and squeeze the shit out of, but all that you managed to do was just contort yourself each and every way while cursing yourself breathless when the best course of action was to let it heal without the unnecessary attempt at aggressive excavation. That’s what happened to many people on the phone. They couldn’t understand when it was pointless to try getting their way and lost all of their cool.  

 

Eren? Eren wasn’t that type. He was the kind of customer who you desperately tried to hate but couldn’t, even though they had tested your patience and raked up theoretical yellow cards together with the length of the call.

 

There were all the signs of a newbie at work and so Levi couldn’t help but dub him a 'kid' in his head despite not knowing his actual age. Not like it mattered…  

 

First of, he had no idea what NATO alphabet was. Yeah, Levi didn’t expect everyone to cite it when roused from their their sleep in the middle of the night like he himself was able to⏤useless knowledge acquired thanks to Hanji and her idiotic experiments⏤but even prompted he came up with the most random and compromising words as examples. G for Gay? Seriously? He just hoped he wasn’t the first person Eren had outed himself to because that would have been sad even in Levi’s book. Levi wasn’t obtuse too. He understood mentioning the word didn’t make Eren gay. It was that the way he said it and immediately got flustered, coupled with his lack of composure seemingly being linked with the way Levi modulated his voice, was more than enough to give Levi a strong suspicion the kid was all over the place not only because of work-related lack of experience which would have made him prepare better for the call.

 

It was no ego talking. He was painfully aware how his voice could work on others. It was one of the office’s worst kept secrets that there were a few customers who had tried to proposition Levi on the phone. There were moments he wanted to indulge just to see how far they would have gone if given a chance. In the end he had decided he was not into that kind of mindfuckery and pretending to be interested in someone’s cumbersome and sometimes odious advances made him reconsider whether too much time in front of a computer, and oftentimes being forced to speak with mentally challenged twits, had finally loosened a screw or two of his own. Also, had such an emboldened customer adventurously attempted to talk sex to him via phone instead of keeping it at a thinly suggestive level he would have gagged for sure. Not to forget there was an off-chance of the call getting recorded. What a joy that would have been…  

 

On a bright side, in reality it would mean Erwin having to address it in front of HR and getting the sack might just be worth the painful and sour expression such a talk would, without a fail, cause on his face. They say little things in life matter the most, right?

 

The Eren kid didn’t seem to have a malevolent bone in his body seeing as he apologized multiple times for his lack of proficiency. Thinking back to the fact that the kid had actually managed to spill water onto his desk and whatever was in the bottle’s vicinity had Levi snort in disbelief.

 

He was desperate, overeager and easy to tease, being so obviously out of his depth. It was so easy that Levi had caught himself a few times unconsciously lowering the timbre of his voice when using the brat’s name, which was not something he normally did for reasons already addressed. It was also stupid now that he thought about it, as it was simply sabotaging himself causing Eren to further lose focus. Peculiarly, he couldn’t help himself as there was a refreshing charm in how badly Eren wanted to please Levi aside of getting the help that he needed.

 

That’s why, even though there had been a few stops during the call he had to utilize mute to stop himself from cussing at the kid’s hopelessness and moments an irritated sigh or two of waning patience left his mouth, the overall vibe he had been left with was positive.

 

It took him entirely by surprise. Remarkably, a simple brat had been able to make Levi genuinely smile with how enthusiastically he reacted once the offered solution had worked the issue out. He was taken off guard by such a high level of emotional positivity and so Eren’s innocent and harmless hug offer suddenly seemed too… intimate? No, that sounded wrong. Maybe too… realistic? It might have been offered thoughtlessly, yet Levi was convinced Eren had actually meant it and the hug would have taken place were there physical means to make it happen.

 

Having realized that, Levi’s immediate reaction was to withdraw himself personally from the conversation and fall back on his strictly professional persona. The change lied in not only his tone but the wording and sentence structure. Using templates was a strategy like no other to keep a customer at a distance. It was, understandably, immensely polite and customer focused. At the same time there was no running away from the impression you were talking business and business only, positive wording and structure notwithstanding. There was little to no place for authenticity and it acted like a shield between Levi and whomever he was speaking with.

 

Honestly, it was his preferred style as he believed a solution focused and no nonse approach got things resolved faster and made them less troublesome for not only him but his caller as well. It was also not in his nature to engage in inconsequential small talk and getting overfamiliar with newly met people, not to mention doing so for the sake of a positive survey.

 

He got things done and did it fast which resulted in him having the highest rating of First Touch Resolution cases. He believed his voice did the rest, ensuring a steady influx of of positive surveys in which customers tended to voice things like ‘Efficient’, ‘Quick’, ‘Knew what he was talking about’,’Issue resolved without much hassle’ and occasional ‘Pleasant voice’ and so on… There were jewels that were better left untold in most situations.

 

Few and far between were customers he engaged with in a more friendly and relaxed kind of talk. Those tended to be regulars and people who screamed ‘I need a compliment every step I take or I don’t think I can do it. Did I click ok, Levi?’. With the second sort you just couldn’t go by the book unless you had two hours to hand. And even if Levi did magically procure such an amount of time, he would rather scroll cats on the Internet than spend it on the phone with one person faking being nice at heart. The kind of friendly he entertained with his actual few friends meant an unhealthy amount of sarcastic remarks bordering on rude, or actually rude on a bad day, and preferably lots of tea and food making it doable to survive handling Hanji and Erwin at the same time. He hated coddling people… That was for babies and maybe your own kids in moderation if you had them and Levi was not planning on having any kids. Ever.

 

So… Eren… Yes. He had shut the kid out after his momentary misstep of kindness. His, not Eren’s. Or maybe both, actually? All in all, it had made him suddenly uncomfortable in his own skin and he had to get away for a moment. Hence, the whole caneless cigarette fiasco leaving him sitting stiffly on a dirty fucking step in the middle of a deserted staircase like a grief-stricken fool. He had become such a walking cliché of a depressed, emotionally constipated gay man it was distasteful. He could almost taste it. Except, there wasn’t much walking involved on his part at that moment…

 

His leg didn’t want to take him places without acting up this last week, time after time, and so his emotions were all over the place. That a kid being _nice_ , of all things, was a straw that broke the camel’s back made him think he was alarmingly close to being pitiful. The kind of pitiful he didn’t want to touch with a stick with his current ‘staircase quagmire’ being dangerously meme worthy in the dark comedy kind of way. Or was he already there and was playing his denial card just right? He knew the exact meme that could partially portray this too. And as if to confirm his wistful musings, probably orchestrated by the universe itself, the heavy door to the staircase opened announcing another person’s entry with a heavy thud. It sounded unsurprisingly judgemental to his fatigued brain.  

 

“Fancy meeting you here, Levi,” a well known voice greeted him for the first time that day. “I do believe I have something of yours.”

 

Pretentious dick, always had to make an entrance at the most opportune time… He didn’t say it, but there was no need. Levi heard it all the same: ‘ _had you had it with you all along, we wouldn’t have had to meet like this_ ’.

 

“No shit, Erwin,” he decided on. There was nothing much he could say that wouldn’t further compromise him.

 

“Should I rather dig out the pair of crutches from the supply closet? I do believe I had recommended to let them be stored there in cases of an emergency. Are you in an emergency, Levi? Because I do believe your break has ended exactly fifteen minutes and thirty two second ago,” he droned on and Levi had no doubt, just for the effect of it, he had checked the golden face of his appallingly overpriced Chopard [ wristwatch ](https://www.google.pl/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwi2_azVs__cAhVKtIsKHTpWBOMQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.watchprosite.com%2Fchopard%2Fvote-for-the-chopard-watches-at-gphg-2014%2F5.956638.6643088%2F&psig=AOvVaw3PpofwuNODtUNfqQpt1jVb&ust=1534984099264235). Not like Levi cared enough to take a look. He knew the face Erwin was making by now. It was as good as burnt out on his retinas by now thanks to all the times he was on its receiving end.

 

The jab was warranted. Them being in this eerily familiar situation was not a first. He had vowed it to be exactly that a few times already. Didn’t seem to work. Though, it had been at least three months since the last similar escapade which was a new personal record.

 

“A broom might be better equipped for the situation,” he suggested monotonically, the stupid [ meme ](https://www.google.pl/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiRwoStuP_cAhVpl4sKHSQLAKoQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F38702878022330818%2F&psig=AOvVaw1Um2C-m-tdZDZUFc7KFeBE&ust=1534985376066396) having stuck with Levi. Had to clap himself on the should for having thought about such a well fitting image. Seemed all that time wasted on Internet scrolling did not go to complete waste.

 

“As a boss I will say you should be more aware I pay you for actual work and not immersing yourself in Internet produced globally known rubbish commentaries on a warped reality,” Erwin said cooly, Levi having finally chanced a look in his direction to be able to see one of his farcical eyebrows rise as if questioning his sanity. “As an old friend I want to say that while I do see the appeal of your choice in situational comparisons, the parallel may be missing its point with this one. You should now I can never be the Jack to your Liz. Also, this is by far not the worst I have seen you at, so maybe reserve it for another time?” he added, making Levi snort inelegantly.

 

“Fuck you and your need to come out on top. Can’t I deliberate my shitty life choices in peace? You had to come and personally retrieve me?” Levi asked, aware that it was bound to happen given his unplanned absence upstairs when it was not his usual break time and Erwin having some free time on his hands to check up on him.

 

“What can I say, I aim to please, Levi,” he smiled that disgustingly commercial megawatt smile making Levi squint his eyes to blur the view. “On a side note, the calls won’t pick up themselves and Petra is due her break right about now. My question is, do you plan on going back or should I arrange otherwise?” he asked more seriously, leaving Levi no choice but to face the reality.

 

There was no reason for him to hide under the carpet. Nobody would say a word. It wasn’t like he was at his worst indeed. He needed a break and he took one, for all it was.

 

“No need to fucking panic. I’m getting back to pick up your shitty calls. Give guy a break,” he griped, though without any actual bite to it.

 

“I dare say I just did, but you already know that, don’t you?” Erwin said, knowingly anticipating Levi wouldn’t appreciate him asking if he needed a hand. Instead he stepped down the few stairs between them and handed him the undeservedly ignored cane of his.

 

He reached for it and slowly lifted himself to his feet, putting most of his weight onto his right side and cane now that he had it.

 

It was a shitty fucking day, no denying it. It could have been worse, though. It could have been Hanji…


End file.
